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Wedding dresses these days come in all shapes, sizes, laces and designs.  Do you want bare shoulders, lacey, full sleeves, no sleeves, long with a 5′ train, no train, simple, elegant?  Who knows but you (ok and maybe the opinions of your family).  If you ever watch TLC you will see all the shows about weddings, from dresses, to the planning, cakes, and even difficult brides (who I believe aren’t really trying to be difficult).

So let’s get back to dresses.  In the past it was a tradition that the new bride would wear her mother’s dress or take parts of it an make a new dress that someone in the family or a friend would sew for them.  Also wedding dresses were not all white.  Yes, there was a day when you would and could wear a colored dress (My grandmother wore a dark green dress – and she got married in Febuary).  Now a days most everyone wears either white or off white as a tradition.

There are those brides however that don’t like to be the “norm” and will vary from tradition.  I say “hail to you”  who always wants to be traditional.

Ok, but back to tradition for now.

So you want a traditonal dress, you’ve looked in all the bridal magazines and have cut out pictures of what appeals to you.  Now you “try” to go find it.  If you live in a town with only 1 or 2 bridal boutiques your changes of finding “the” particular dress may be limited.  Of course they can order it, but why order & pay for something you are not able to try on or see?  I surely wouldn’t!  So you find something similar and holy cow it makes you look like a “cow”  – well who wants that.  It’s a good thing you have more than one picture and idea for your dress.  So you go to the next and the next and so on until you are exhausted.  You go the next day again & do it all over and nothing.

Maybe now it’s time to take a drive.  You may have to go to a bigger city/town in your area to find the perfect dress.  It’s funny too that when you find the “perfect” dress it may not be at all what you initially wanted or expected, so be prepared.

My advice is this.  YES cut out those pictures, figure out what your style is and do your best to get it.  However be open to the possibility that what you want and what you get may be two very different things.  Don’t be afraid too to have someone make your dress for you either.  There are alot of great seamstresses who will be happy to help.  They may or may not be more expensive, you have to check it out. 

I know some 12 years ago my sister had a particular idea for a dress and it happened to be one with satin and lace to look like something from the old west.  Now try to find that on the racks at a store – no such deal, so she had it made and at that time it cost around $350 for a custom dress.  I don’t think that’s to bad, even today.  My daughter went the other way, she went with a white dress, but spent $25 on a dress from a famous bra company, she ordered it from a catalog and with the veil we made it looked great.  She now has that dress to wear to the beach or to dinner.

That brings up the question, what do you do with your dress after the party?  Preserve it? For what?  There is a new trend in photography called “Wreck the dress” ask your photographer, they should be able to tell you all about it.  Basically you go out and run, jump, stomp in your dress.  Sounds crazy, but I will tell you that 30 years since I got married my dress is still at my mothers house hanging in the closet, my daughter didn’t want to wear it, so maybe I will save it for a granddaughter someday.

Enjoy your dress shopping, don’t get to stressed out and don’t be disappointed when you don’t get the dress you originally pictured you’de be walking down the aisle in.  Have fun with it.

Enjoy your planning.

So I really don’t like budgets – personal, professional or otherwise.  It is then kind of funny that I would talk about them here.  Budgets can be difficult at best to stay within for your wedding.  Let’s break it down kind of simply – let’s say your budget is $10,000 total.  Your entire family is expecting to be invited, you have to get a dress, the reception hall, cake, flowers etc.  We all know basically what it takes to have the “day” of your dreams.

1. Let’s start with the dress – the one you have your eye on is $2500 – ok, not so bad.  Budget $10,000 – $2500 leaves $7500, that’s still alot of money to spend.
2. Flowers for the Wedding & Reception – you have picked the florist and they are $1000, so now you are at $6500
3. Cake – you want the most elegant cake that is the newest rage and it’s cost is $2000 for 100 people (ouch), but now you are at $4500
4. Church wants a deposit of $1000, so you are now at $3500
5. Reception dinner – buffet is $32.00 min per person with 100 people that $3200 + tax + gratuity, so now you are in the NEGATIVE {$2000}
6. Transportation costs $350 for 2 hrs NEGATIVE more {$2350}
7. Invitation costs – custom order with postage $850 – NEGATIVE even more {$3200}

My point is see how fast costs can run up and we still do not have a DJ/MC – music for our event which typically can run from $650 – $4000 , or more depending on lighting, time, # of people the company sends etc.

So where do you cut costs if your budget is not UNLIMTED?  This is a huge question that many couples ask experts each day.

You need to look at several things – Budget being the first item, then what do you want MOST of all (the reception hall, cake, dress, etc) and work from that point backwards.  If you are going to have a LARGE guest list, then that is going to be the majority of your budget – food, can you choose a more local bakery for your cake & not the high end one that may have to travel to your site or has the Biggest name in town?  Your dress, you may want to check the local stores like “The Rack” if you live in a larger town or online for discounted dresses.  If you do buy a dress online then you may want to have someone who does alterations standing by just incase you need to have changes made.  We discussed flowers in a previous post, but it is worth repeating again – have your bridal bouquet made by a professional if that is what you want, then purchase your flowers for center pieces etc from a local farmers market, get them from your yard, or any number of other places (even places like big box hardward stores, local growers or nurseries).

Sometimes you have to think outside the box to get what you want.  Brainstorm with members of your family and bridal party also for ideas, more people the merrier and then they feel that they are part of the entire celebration too.

Happy Planning and check out the Simply Elegant Wedding Planner book to help you simplify your plans.  It’s based on “What comes first” so your budget issues will be easier to handle.

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